I had a panic attack this morning at 12:30. So I've been awake since then. I have some much stuff going on, it's very overwhelming. A little over a month, the local red cross was there, a one man operation. I came in, and made an immediate impact on the operation of it. I used to be almost always closed as there was nobody to work the office, with my help we are now open 5 days a week with the office staffed from 9 to 4:30. At the hospital, I came in to volunteer, and I approached it as it was "real" Work. I am in huge demand there now, two different departments had to figure out how to work it out, both departments wanted me last week. There is plenty of other people there, but they specifically wanted me. At both the red cross and the hospital, I set the bar high, really high, so expectations are expected to be at that level, or better. I am the go to guy for a lot of things. While it is great to be needed and appreciated for the work I do, it is extremely overwhelming when I still have to focus on my education (main priority)This weekend I took the first half of an instructors training course, so now I have get ready to teach a class, and show that I can teach. Then finish the course. I am feeling a lot of pressure I have no idea who's going to be there, and how and what are they going to be evaluating. SO basically, I am going crazy, the hospital wants me to work more hours, they created a new position based on my skills, I almost wanted to tell them that I would do it if they promised to give me some hours on the ER, which is really where I want to be. I haven't decided whether I can give them more hours and compromise the work I've been doing at the red cross. The Red cross office is running really smooth now, I am on top of things and looking for ways to improve the operation of it, the chapter manager, is almost never there, so it's a lot of times up to me to keep things going. At least all this work it's going to look good in my resume. I just need to stay sane.

Just wanted people to know, that I do read your LJ's but I don't comment because I am busy, really busy. I ussually make little updated here and there on my facebook page. so feel free to add me up and we can be in touch that way.
www.facebook.com/alberto.lopezrothwell

I am so busy, I should start to write my name down so I don't forget it. I like being busy, however, I am to the point of being exhausted. I like it, even if I forget my own name. Thats why writing it down and looking at the notes later helps.

I am having a really hard time writing a paper for class. I didn't like the novel from the moment I started reading it, and I felt the same way all the way to the end of it. So now I have to write a critical analysis of it. The thing is the teacher wants us to write it based on the symbolism used in the book, and honestly I don't see much of it. I have started and deleted the paper at least 3 times, I am going to have to produce a piece of crap so I can show her something. I hate it, I should be able to write something good. The book sucked big time, so I am not too inspired, or better said, I cannot find the symbolism the teacher wants me to find.

A lot of things are happening right now. I work at the hospital and the Red Cross, plus school. We are having a huge disaster drill today and it will be awesome. We expect tons and tons of people to show up, plus the local fire department,radio communications people, People from san Francisco, Santa Cruz, Monterrey. There has never been a drill of this magnitude ever done on this area, so it is a big deal.
I am mostly on facebook this days so feel free to add me
http://www.facebook.com/alberto.lopezrothwell

I have started to met some people in this town. 2 months after I moved here, I can finally say this is home. I have learned so much about this town already, about it's history and that of people that founded Hollister. A learned a good deal about the People that have made a difference in this town Like Hawkins. Also, by working at the red cross, I have come across some people that believe in helping people as much as I do. Working at the Hospital has introduced me to a different kind of people and their stories. I am becoming a part of this community, and it feels good to be part of it. I can hardly wait for the local Christmas parade, at the beginning of December. I will be in the parade, in my new town, I'll introduce myself to this town and it's people by proudly marching with a bunch of my Red Cross comrades. I believe I have started to build a good foundation, and plan on leaving my footprint in this town as much as I did back in Santa Cruz.

Not a sign of discomfort for me today. I just got off my shift at the hospital and it was great. Last week my feet were killing me after i got off and today is just like I've been sitting all day. I like working at the hospital, and the looks of apreciation I get from patients.

I am an idiot. I got drunk again yesterday and sent a bunch of stupid emails to people, nothing really bad, just stupid.

I am really confused as to where I fit on the big picture. I have no complaints as to how my schooling is going, however, I am having doubts as to how much I can live up to my own expectations. I am happy, I have everything I could wish for. I do feel like I am not as best as I could be and that it's killing me. I want to be an A student, and as much as I try I am a B student. I am giving it all I have, somebody, please show me how to be an A Student. I want to be an A student, I just cannot reach that level. I am determined, I am going to get an A even if it kills me. I will notgoing to be defeated by chemistry and things I don't understand. I refuse. I am a good student>>>

I had my first "real" shift at the hospital and I am felling really tired. Wheeling patients from one deparment to another for X-rays or whatever can be tiring, all by itself. Adding, running paperwork from one place to another, taking people in to the lab for blood test, taking people to OB and so on, can make your feet hurt. I am in very good shape, so it shouldn't be a big deal however I can fell my feet pumping, screaming so I take my shoes off. I liked it, and I am glad I decided to do this. Seeing some of the nurses work is awesome. I can totally see myself doing the same thing. I was told that, the Hospital could possibly pay up to $20,000 for Nursing school, once I have stablished myself there. Shit, I'll do almost anything 20,000 dollars is alot of money, It would pay for my new career.

I was training at the Hospital this morning, and if anything else it was very interesting. I think I am going to be a good fit. Tomorrow is my second shift at the red cross. I feel like I am part of this community and it's an awesome felling. It would seal it once I am in the Christmas parade.

Many of you might have seen this on TV, I think is funny. It's about 45 seconds so even if you don't like football you can give it a shot.

I got to the gym a half hour early for my appointment with the trainer, and she saw me come in and told me to get a good warm up because we were going to have a good workout, and man, she wasn't kidding she beat me to the ground. In some exciting news, I've got my schedule for the Hospital, I'll start November 6 so I'll probably start training next week. Also, I am going to start at the local chapter of the red cross today, I will be working the desk most of the time, so that should be cool, so I can get to met people. I am looking forward to both of the opportunities, The red cross because they do an awesome job when an emergency happens and the hospital because I'll get my feet wet, and start networking and possibly continue to work there once I become a nurse.

As you know I was sick yesterday and I was feeling like crap this morning. Just like that, this afternoon I felt better. Went to the clinic to have my physical exam, and stopped by the red cross to check things out. As soon as I got home, the phone rang, it was Jillian, my personal trainer asking about coming to the gym tomorrow. I thought about it for a second or 2 and say yes, I think I'll be OK to go tomorrow. Now, She pushes me hard, really hard, to the point of almost throwing up. The thing is,even when I am half dead at the end of the training session it's worth it. I am just thinking that I am not going to be at a 100% I should have waited a couple of days and train on Friday. It's done thought, I am looking forward to the beating.

I got sick yesterday and I have been felling very strange today. There are times when I feel really well, that the thought of going to the gym crossed my mind, and there are times like right now when I have to lay down as all my energy seems to be gone. I have a physical tomorrow so I can get clearance to start working at the Hollister Hospital. Hopefully being sick today doesn't influence what happens tomorrow with the physical. Since I moved to Hollister, I gave up the idea and the connections with the Red cross from Santa Cruz. I got a call the other day, and I got some contact information for the new office being formed here in HOllister, so I went to meet the person in charge and we hit it off right away, we talked for a long time. It will be nice to do some work for him at the local Red Cross chapter, however I have to stay focus and prioritize my school work, and the hospital. Putting some work at the hospital, will not only look good on my resume, but also I will be putting my name out there. When I finish Nursing school, I'll have a very good chance of working there as they would know how good of a worker I am. I should go make me some hot tea, grab a blanket and watch some brainless TV. I'll have a very long day tomorrow.

Most people these days have no idea who Lou Albano was. A lot of people got to know him as the father in cyndi lauper's video "girls just want to have fun"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTtelwOgscM
Also you might recognize him as super mario from the animated series.

However I knew him as a wrestler's manager and a wrestler himself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0IFXq7iFCE
I remember watching some of his matches as a kid. So you know this is from the time before wrestling was big, and the WWf was making a name for itself, it might be boring to today's standards and gimmicks, however any wrestling fan should be able to enjoy this. Here is a classic match. OK it's bad and you can totally see Albano cutting himself to draw blood on his forehead, however it's a classic.

I tell you this much... That new show Trauma is awesome. I almost want to regress and reconsider paramedic school. Some of the scenes are kind of cheesy but overall the lingo is right on. While watching it, I feel like I am back on EMT class. Hopefully the show stays on for a while, if anything else is a nice break from all the hospital and csi shows. If anybody else watches this show let me know.

I need help. Inspiration is drifting.

I have an appointment Monday to meet with the head of personel at the Hawkins memorial hospital here in Hollister. It's time to get my feet wet and start doing some work in the hospital. I am really looking forward to it, and to figure out what days I can be available. I have to be there and experience the hospital setting first hand so it can be a valuable source as I continue this path. The paramedic school, and the firefighting were put on the backburner and I decided to become a nurse. I still have a ways to go, however all the skills I've learned from going to the fire academy and from going throught the first responders and the emt programs will pay off as many of the same skills apply to both. I Should get back to study chemistry. I have a midterm on Tuesday.

I have been living in Hollister a little over a month. It's a small town and I understand there are things that I have to adjust to. I like it here and how calm and relaxing it feels. I still drive to Santa Cruz a couple of days a week to get my fix of craziness. The problem I am having with this town is that people stare at me constantly. I guess I look different, ears pierced, tattoos, etc. I go to the store and people look at me, at the gym people look at me, I just went to a small taqueria down the street and people stop eating and looked at me. I guess I should start dressing different or something. Most of the clothes I wear are definitely something you wear on a beach town. like O'Neil and quicksilver shirts, I almost always wear shorts. I should just not let it bother me, but is kind of hard to ignore when people stare at you constantly. I honestly just want to blend in, and not get attention. Maybe I should shave my goatee and get a bunch of plaid style shirts, a few wrangler jeans and a big bucket hat, and cowboy boots. But then I would not feel right, I like to wear my nice relaxed clothes, and not look like everybody else. I guess after all getting stared at is not as bad as having to wear a cowboy uniform day in day out.